Sing a New Song
by pandorabox82
Summary: Bernie is dragged along with Dom and Lofty to sing carols with Henrik and Roxanna. Though she was never expecting them all to play Christmas angels for her and Serena...


Bernie let out a soft sigh as she accepted the small book Dom thrust into her hands. She hadn't known why she had agreed to come caroling with some of the Holby staff, since she and Serena were still at sixes and sevens, but Dom had assured her that Serena wasn't coming, that she hadn't been sociable since everything had happened between them. And so, here she was, wearing a ridiculous lighted Santa hat on her head and following Dom out of the backseat of Hanssen's car.

"Aren't they an adorable couple?" Lofty murmured as they followed after Hanssen and Roxanna. "I was afraid that after everything Gaskell put them through they would break up, but they seem stronger than ever. It kinda makes one believe in true love winning out over every obstacle, doesn't it?"

Bernie winced a little, watching Dom smack his husband lightly on the arm as he pointedly looked her way. Lofty gave her a hangdog look before patting her arm a little. "I'm sure my husband didn't mean to put his foot in his mouth quite so badly. But he does have a small point in there. True love does find a way to making things work out. I mean, Scandiman and his sweetheart had thirty years where they were apart."

"Not helping," Bernie bit out as she fumbled with the book in her hands. Shaking her head a little, she jogged up to Henrik and Roxanna, needing to put some distance between Dom and Lofty before she said something that was less than kind. "So, I thought I'd walk with you two for a little while. Where's our first stop?" she asked before shoving one hand deep into her pocket to try and stay warm in the biting December air.

"I was thinking that we could go up and down this street here. Connie was saying that some of the ED's frequent fliers live here, so I thought it would be nice to bring them a spot of Holby cheer." Henrik gave her a small smile before holding out his free arm. "It's a little colder than I anticipated this evening. But I have the feeling that we'll end up warm and cozy by the end of the night."

As Bernie slid her hand into the crook of Henrik's arm, she watched the quick look he and Roxanna exchanged. Something in the back of her mind told her that they were plotting something, but she shrugged that off as her being paranoid. "Yes, Henrik has called ahead to our final stop and asked if they would have warm mulled wine and cocoa available for our group, even if we were only able to get five of us together this year."

"Small but mighty, darling."

There was something so sweet about their relationship, and Bernie felt an ache in her heart as she realized how much she missed having Serena by her side. It would have been so nice to sing with her, even though Bernie knew she sang offkey at the best of times. But with Serena by her side, it wouldn't have been that bad. There was no chance of that, though, not with the way they had left things. She knew they had both said things they hadn't meant in the heat of anger, and that they were both too prideful for their own good.

They came to a stop on a stoop, and Bernie shook her head to clear away the thoughts before she opened the carol book to the song that Henrik was on, and pasted a slightly dazed smile on her lips before joining in the chorus. Thankfully, Henrik had a strong enough voice to keep her somewhat in tune, and after they had sung a few songs, they moved on to the next house. As they continued to spread joy to the residents on the street, Roxanna came over to her other side and wrapped an arm around her waist in a sweet show of solidarity that seemed to fill her with a warmth that had been lacking in her life for the last few days.

"I know, it has to be so hard, fighting with the person you love most in this world," the woman murmured as they walked back to Henrik's car. "We were at loggerheads over how John was conducting his research, and it hurt so badly. If there is anything that we can do to help you, don't hesitate to call one of us. I know, we haven't talked much, but I'm hoping that you can trust me."

There was a sincerity to the woman's voice that spoke volumes, and Bernie gave her a small nod as they climbed into the back of the car, leaving Dom to sit up front with Henrik. "Thank you for the offer, I might take you up on it. So, where are we off to next?"

"The last street we're going to carol on tonight. Henrik thought it would be the perfect ending, and I've learned to trust him a lot more as I've been off on medical leave." Bernie nodded as she settled back in the seat, listening to the conversations going on around her. And as Henrik made a turn onto a familiar street, she drew in a deep breath, turning her head to look at Roxanna. She was wearing an almost angelic look, and in that moment, Bernie knew that they had had this all planned from the moment Dom had begged her to come along. "We knew you wouldn't come any other way. Lofty and I were the romantics who wanted to set you up. Henrik and Dom were a little more cautious, and wanted us to give you both some more time. We won out."

Lofty nodded as he gave her another of those too sweet looks, and Bernie rolled her eyes a bit as she shook her head. "If I didn't like both of you so much, I would be angry with you. But I suppose that this is the holiday season, and miracles happen?"

"Exactly!" Lofty said as he reached across Roxanna to pat Bernie's knee. "Just think of us as little miracle workers and everything will be all right. I mean, even a miracle needs a hand!"

"Oh, god, would you please not reference that stupid cartoon ever again?" Dom moaned as Bernie tilted her head in confusion. "Don't ask, you don't want to know. It involves singing mice and a clock, and I will never be able to get that stupid song out of my head all night, thank you very much."

"You know you love me."

"You're just lucky I do, Ben." Bernie tried to hide her chuckle with her hand, but her laugh betrayed her yet again, and she let out a bark as Roxanna giggled next to her. "All right, Henrik, let's get Operation Christmas Elf underway." The older man turned his head towards Dom, and Bernie just knew he was arching one of those eyebrows at him. "I know, Lofty gave it that name after talking with your girlfriend. We certainly picked some sappy people for our partners, huh?"

"Roxanna's sappiness is one of the things that I love most about her. She balances me, and I am most grateful for that." Bernie glanced over to see that Roxanna's cheeks were turning a deep pink, and she nudged her with her shoulder as she gave her a commiserating glance. "Now, let's get out and make our way down the street until we reach our destination."

Bernie nodded and climbed out of the back before helping Roxanna out. Henrik gave her one of his knowing little smiles as she linked her arm possessively with Roxanna. "I think that we're going to hang out in the back. I want Serena to have some pleasure before she notices me, after all."

Henrik nodded before patting her shoulder and taking the lead with Dom and Lofty following after, allowing her and Roxanna to bring up the rear. With each house that went past, Bernie found her nerves shifting into a tighter, higher, gear, and despite Roxanna trying to calm her, nothing seemed to work. The moment they turned off the pavement and onto the walk up to Serena's door, she felt like she was going to throw up, and Roxanna must have seen something on her face, as she squeezed her hand tightly before stopping her briefly. "Everything will work out just fine, I have complete faith in that. Okay?"

"Okay," she replied as she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, making certain to come to a stop directly behind Henrik so that his height might hide her from view for a little while longer. Roxanna gave her a tender smile before opening her book to a page somewhere in the middle. She glanced over, squinting a little to make out what page she was supposed to be on, drawing in a sharp breath when Lofty dashed up the stairs and knocked on the door before rejoining Dom's side. The door opened and Jason and Greta stepped out onto the stoop, Guinevere in Jason's arms.

"Aunty Serena! The carolers are here!"

Bernie stiffened a little as she heard the familiar sound of her lover approaching them. "Yes, well, I had to turn the burner off, Jason, before I burnt the house down." She stifled her reaction to laugh at Serena's tart comment, and Roxanna shot her a look, giving a small shake of her head. "You're earlier than I expected."

"Yes, well, there weren't as many people at home as we expected. I hope that everything is ready for us, though?"

"Of course, Henrik."

"Good."

He took a breath, and she knew that was their cue to prepare to sing. "I heard the bells on Christmas Day," she started, trying to sing softly enough so as not to be heard by Serena. As the song continued on, though, she could hear the voices around her growing softer, and Bernie looked up from the book in her hand to see that Henrik had stepped to one side at some point, and Serena was looking at her, a sad smile on her lips, tears rolling down her cheeks. Still, Bernie continued to sing, even as Serena came down the stairs, only stopping when she had wormed her way between Roxanna and Bernie, throwing an arm around her waist as she joined in.

Roxanna and Lofty gave them both a limpid look as they gazed at them, and Bernie felt her small smile grow into a large grin as Serena let her head come to rest on her upper arm. "Do we get another song, or was this all just a ruse to get Aunty Serena and Aunty Bernie together before Christmas?" Jason asked, looking pointedly at them. If Bernie didn't know better, she would have said that he was being decidedly salty with them, and she glanced down at Serena, only to see that she was staring at the music book.

Henrik cleared his throat, and Bernie watched him turn the page. Following suit, Bernie saw that one of her favourite Christmas carols was there. She couldn't sing it well, but she still loved it so, and as Serena and Roxanna began to sing with her, the words to "Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence" slipped from her tongue easily. That song seemed to break the ice between everyone, and the group sang two more pieces before Serena was shivering too much at her side for Bernie to ignore any longer. "All right, I feel like I need some hot chocolate. I mean, that was the carrot that Dom used to get me here."

Serena chuckled as she nodded, stepping away from Bernie to climb the few steps quickly, patting Greta's arm before disappearing inside. "I believe that is the cue to come inside, everyone," Jason said as he followed after Greta. Bernie took a deep breath as she waited for the others to head in as well, not certain that she was ready to face Serena in the close quarters of her home.

"You can do this, Bernie. Believe me. If I can get back in that saddle, so can you." Roxanna took hold of her hand and squeezed it firmly before tugging her up the stairs. Bernie made certain to kick the door closed behind her, since she knew Serena would yell about heating the outside if she didn't. "All right, if you want to head into the sitting room, one of us will be by with drinks shortly."

"Wait, what…" Bernie started to protest as Roxanna pushed her into that room before quickly closing the door. Shaking her head a little, she turned to go take a seat, only to stop short when she saw Serena standing in front of the window. "I, I can just leave…"

"I don't think that will be possible. Jason's probably given the key to this room to Dom or Henrik by now. Did you know you would end up here by the end of the night?" There was something delicate and brittle about her voice, and Bernie knew that she had to tread carefully so as not to hurt her further.

"I don't think I would have agreed, no, since I don't want to hurt you more. But that seems like that's all we're good at lately, hurting each other, not communicating. I asked you to give me a reason to stay, once."

"You did. Maybe it's my turn to ask a question. Do you want to stay? After everything I did, after everything I said, do you want to stay with me?"

There was a pause between them, one that felt like it encompassed a million years and a million memories, as Bernie made her decision. Looking at Serena, standing there, tears in her eyes, not expecting anything from her, Bernie knew that there were still new songs to sing between them. That this was not where their story ended. She just needed to support her lover a little more, and be open to her. She must have let that moment linger a little too long, because Serena's face started to crumple as she turned from her and began to curl in on herself.

Bernie closed the distance between them in a heartbeat and wrapped her arms around her lover in a soft embrace as she tucked her chin over Serena's shoulder. "I want nothing more than to stay with you. Because I love you. The course of true love has never run particularly straight, isn't that what Shakespeare said?" Serena let out a watery laugh as she nodded. "Well, my star-crossed love, I know that we'll have to talk about everything that's happened between us, and work out the hurts we've caused each other. I'll have to remember that I can't put you on a pedestal, you're not a saint, but then, neither am I. We're human after all."

"Too human. I failed."

"We all fail at times."

Serena turned in her arms, looking up into her eyes, and the love that was reflected there hurt Bernie's heart a little. "I can't promise that I won't let you down again. But I want the chance to try and be worthy of your love. I want to work this out. I love you."

"That's all we need, then. Love and trust and the willingness to move forward together." Bernie lowered her lips to Serena's kissing her gently as they heard the door open behind them. The soft, feminine, sigh of happiness told her that Roxanna had indeed brought their drinks to them, but she chose to ignore the sound in order to keep kissing her love. The new song that her heart was singing wasn't quite finished yet, after all.


End file.
